Comments on Delano's Post a Comment
No fags in Delaho's except for Robby Batcliffe. He grabbed my ass once. They had more sanitary toilets in Auschwitz than they do at this place. The bitches at this place have less brains than JFK's car seat.
Posted by Anonymous 2003-05-18 00:00:00

enough of this immature squabble. i work at Delano's. in case you're curious, i'm the one who performs all the back-room abortions for the assorted white-trash bar sluts who wander in after a quick back-alley romp with some frat-boy fairy who slipped her the Rufi he bought at the bar from his buddy, one of the untrained bartenders who doesn't know how to pour a beer, mix a drink, or suck a decent dick. i rarely have to anesthetize them since the Rufi's pretty much dull any sensation that might have been left over after her seventh Midori Sour, and in the case of the ones who enjoyed their sex while conscious, they actually kind of like the cold tickle of the coat hanger. as far as all this gayness and ass-grabbing goes i can attest, their male crowd (and by that i mean bouncers) go around pinching cheeks like they're your aunt. so let me just leave it with this: i get to see all the DelaHos up close and personal and believe you me, they're not a pretty sight. if you actually come here for the "atmosphere", the "scene", or the "chicks", then you absolutely deserve whatever crab-scratch nad-eating sex virus you catch. oh, and if you happen to get trailer-trawled up the ass out back by a brown-pusher after drinking a trademark Delano's Rufi Cocktail, just some fair warning: they charge you for the second one if you make them spill.
Posted by Anonymous 2003-05-18 00:00:00

Toodles mis compadres. So like what is going on with all this breeder bashing? Can I just say me and fag-hater are so totally swordfighting right now, so you'll have to excuse his cute little ass. After getting fantabulously kicked out of the Grotto and the Stuttering Parrot, he's just so tarty about his Delano's house arrest. See we are kinda like an item, mmm hmm, but let me tell you a thing or two about a thing or two, I use GHB on all the underage girls I let in the door for free to not be all the way gay, but my sweetcheeks over here... he loves the cock. Loves it! Can't get enough of it. That's why he wants all of you to come on down to Delano's while I'm AWOL deflowering Lizzie McGuire in the billiards room. He just gets sooo much pent up anger when he gets left out of my DelaHo goal post session. So please finagle your way down here in your Birkenstocks & Aeropostale shorts and skull fuck my boyfriend -- here's a hint, he likes it in the back of the throat, and if you spank his ass he'll wear your cock as a Colombian necktie.
Posted by Anonymous 2003-05-16 00:00:00

You're a closet fag. Sorry. Go back to the Grotto.
Posted by Anonymous 2003-05-13 00:00:00

dude just cuz i had to take a piss and walked in on the 40 people giving your mom the r kelly treatment while you were making like a circus seal in the corner and got upset when i declined to use the bottle opener on your cornhole doesn't make me the fag nor want to ever revisit your self-proclaimed choice brothel, i'll leave you to your home away from home of rusty trombone endeavours and drink elsewhere
Posted by Anonymous 2003-05-12 00:00:00

First off to all the delano haters its hard to like chicks at a bar when you don't like pussy. Maybe you guys that find the girls nasty should take a look at the chicks your taking home on the weekends, or does that not really apply to u fags. Its hard to get a drink right away when you have 40 people that just rushed in for last call. Maybe you should try coming to bar a little earlier then 12:45. And also you seem to have such a problem with the bouncers there but their the ones that keep your ass from gettin killed by a bunch of fag-haters like me. So how about you stop gagging on the cock you fags and get a girl for once, you might actually like it.
Posted by Anonymous 2003-05-09 00:00:00

Ok haters get ready. Delano's is my bar. You can say there's a lot of hoochies there, but thats what brings in the crowds. If the girls like it, then it cant be that bad. And you would go home with any of them any night. The beer is not watered down, it's just Bud Light your drinking. Get a Harpoon or a Newcastle ontap if u want a decent beer. The bartenders are great guys, but when someone starts acting like a drunk dick, that's what heats em up. And yeah, dont start shit or there will be a toss out, and the only reason there is ever a fight with the bouncers is because some doesn't know what "leave" means. The bar is actually quite clean, its just old. And the bathrooms would be much cleaner if people learned how to piss is a toilet and puke in one too. Get over yourselves you snobs. Go to Delano's and take home a Dela-ho tonight!
Posted by Anonymous 2003-05-06 00:00:00

I must take exception to this review... while the service is horrible, the conditions unsanitary, the women repugnant, and the ambience nauseating, the inexpensive price of water, er, uh... beer and ready assortment of neighborhood trailer trash sycophants looking for the better half of their ill-begotten welfare-supported love child more than make up for it. If you're looking for a schwilly good time and possibly a little something more, this is the dive to visit. On the other hand the often rowdy, rarely safe late-hour sort of fracas they are notorious for is not for the faint of heart, nor the weaponless. Places like this are the reason this college town has a 1 a.m. last call.
Posted by Anonymous 2003-03-11 00:00:00

Whoever wrote this review has no idea what they are talking about because Delanos doesn't even have a dancefloor unless you count the opening of concrete in front of whatever shitty DJ that charged you the $3 cover is spinning the latest and greatest from JAMN 94.5 . This place is the dirtiest shit hole ever opened. It's because of places like this that the Prohibition movement ever got any steam in the first place. No wonder the cruisers park across the street facing Delanos. As a student at one of the local colleges this place isn't worth much more in passing than a middle finger to the door men on the way by. THIS PLACE SWALLOWS!!!
Posted by Anonymous 2003-03-10 00:00:00

I swear to God I've gotten so many venereal diseases at this place I got two crabs riding shotgun on my nuts.
Posted by Anonymous 2003-03-09 00:00:00
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